The Napoleonic Wars with an Attitude (part 2)

Imagine you’re Napoleon. You’ve just demolished Prussia and after that Russia sued for peace. You and Alexander negotiated on a raft in 1807. You’ve been fighting him for a while, but now you two get along very well, which is surprising. You even say to Josephine (your wife): “If Alexander were a woman, I would make him my mistress.” which is extremely weird.

But now, Russia and you are allies, so you’re probably not going to lose any time soon. Russia also began invading Sweden, and Prussia lost a ton of land. The UK is your last threat… for now.

Anyway, the UK was still handing out money to anyone who would fight Napoleon, but you can’t beat Great Britain because you obviously can’t pass the channel. You, however, came up with an idea, you came up with the continental system, which meant that the UK couldn’t trade with Europe, and their economy would be pretty trashy. They responded in the typical way. Bing, Bang, Boom, wrecking a bunch of stuff (in Copenhagen).

Your idea, however, did not really work, because Great Britain had just started trade with other countries (for example the US). Many neutral countries found themselves having to pick between you and the UK, because they either must trade with you or the UK.

The Danish also allied up with France since the UK kept blowing stuff up. Spain also doesn’t really want to stay allies with you since they lost their fleet at Trafalgar, and you came up with the ingenious idea of making your brother the king, which led to a lot of wars in Spain. Austria also declared war on France, AGAIN. So, did they have a chance? No. You obviously demolished them for the fourth time, but this victory cost a lot of troops and supplies.

You also decided to marry Francis’ daughter, because you needed an heir. So, Austria is now your ally. Knock-knock, who’s there, Sweden, they also became allies with France. BOOM! Russia is now trading with the UK, and so, you decide to go to war with Russia in 1812. You can expect this in part 3.

Papp Mátyás V. B