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Writer's picturePapp Mátyás

The Napoleonic Wars with an Attitude (part 1)



The year is 1769 and we are in Corsica. A new child is born, and his name is Napoleon. France bought Corsica in 1768, just in time for Napoleon to be born French. The Corsican people were understandably quite unhappy, and Napoleon developed some anti-French sentiments.

His dad was, well... a crashing snob, and Napoleon was ashamed of him, while he loved his mother. Napoleon went to military school in 1784 until 1785, and he loved reading about conquests. When he graduated, he became second lieutenant.

But that wasn’t enough for Napoleon. But positions were handed out based on nobility, not talent. BOOM! Would you look at that? The French revolution. Head-chopping, king popping, and of course, equality. Napoleon began fighting for the revolution and got promoted twice. He also got his very own army. By now, Napoleon wanted to get married, and after a lot of women and trying and crying, he found Josephine, who was a single mother and was in debt. She cheated on Napoleon with a man named Hippolyte.

The rest of Europe was worried that the French revolution would inspire their people to chop their leaders’ heads off. So, the French people had an idea. I’m sure it’s something logical, right? Nope, they instead declared war on basically the rest of Europe in 1792. In 1796 they planned an attack on Vienna, to knock Austria out of the war with two magnificent armies in the north, and Napoleon in the south for a diversion. Napoleon’s army had very little supplies, but Napoleon inspired them with speeches.

When he attacked, he was outnumbered, and his attack was supposed to be the sideshow, but he made it the main show. The northern armies were not making progress, while Napoleon was making staggering progress. He split the enemy armies in 2 and took them on separately, which knocked Sardinia out of the war. As he began approaching Vienna, the Austrians were forced to make peace. He had singlehandedly knocked Austria out of the war.

When he returned to France, he was extremely popular, and the government was extremely unpopular. The government was concerned, so they sent him to Egypt to cause havoc. But British admiral Nelson wrecked his fleet at the battle of Nile, and an Ottoman force defeated him at Acre, so Napoleon abandoned his men and obviously went back to France. When he made it home once again, he was really popular, and he found out about Josephine and Hippolyte, but he forgave her. Then, he tricked the government and then made a new government which had 3 councils, but Napoleon was really the only council.

But let’s go back in time to 1799, when Napoleon was still in Egypt, and France was once again at war with the rest of Europe, and they got wrecked until Napoleon was back, and bang, they got demolished, and Austria was forced to make peace.

The UK remained at war with France, but their economy was garbage, so in 1802 they signed the treaty. In 1804 he became emperor of France. But before that, the British re-declared war on France, and the British also threw money at anyone who would go to war with Napoleon. So, once again, France was at war with the rest of Europe. Napoleon went at lightning speed and the allies stood no chance, Austria made peace with France again… Nelson attacked Spain and he unleashed hell (which means he destroyed a lot of ships), but he died during the battle. This meant that Napoleon could not attack Britain. It looked like Prussia was going to declare war, and they did in 1806. Prussia tried to take down Napoleon by itself, and that went as well as you’d expect, Prussia got demolished, but then Russia came, and they fought but they did not win.

Papp Mátyás V. B

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Luc Pop
Luc Pop
Jan 15, 2022

Looking forward for the second part😊

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